WATCH: Jon Stewart Absolutely Embarrasses ‘Dallas Dipsh*ts’ Fearing ‘Texas Takeover’ (VIDEO)

If you haven’t heard by now, there is a rumor spreading through conservative circles, that Obama is planning a martial law takeover of Texas. It is so widespread, that a courthouse in Bastrop County even held a meeting on the matter, and a representative of the US Army even attended to try and calm any fears that people might have. The vast conspiracy is known in the media as Jade Helm 15.

It’s such a ludicrous accusation, that the military is planning to invade Texas, presumably to steal all their guns, that Jon Stewart could not resist chiming in on the matter.

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Texas – I’ve got news for you, there is no Texas takeover. The United States government already controls Texas.

As if any more explanation was necessary. 

Instead of giving a history lesson explaining how long Texas has been a part of the Union after the Civil War, he uses a classic line that is sure to send chills down the spines of every Texas educator, that is, if it doesn’t completely piss them off first:

Just borrow a textbook from a neighboring state. It’s all in there.

Watch Stewart embarrass Texas conservatives:

Featured Image:  screen capture

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