This Map Will Show You How ‘American’ Your State Is, According To Some Silly Criteria

Alright, so this is perfectly silly, and the criteria is ridiculous. That almost makes it even more fun. The article could have been titled:

How A*s Backwards Are The People In Your State That Using This Kind Of Stupidity Makes Them Feel More ‘American?’

The criteria were as simple as the people who would think any combination of these things makes you or your state more American:

  • Bald eagles per square mile (source: U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service)
  • Olympic gold medals won, per capita (source: I.O.C)
  • Astronauts born in each state, per capita (source: Wikipedia)
  • Fast food restaurants, per capita (source: Yellow Pages)
  • Total Major League Baseball players born in each state (source: Baseball Reference)
  • Percentage of homes with firearms (source: BRFSS)
  • Percentage of Facebook users in each state expressing interest in the “United States of America”(source:
  • Facebook)
  • Google searches for “Bin Laden dead” (source: Google Trends)

While fast food restaurants made the cut, bags of frozen french fries sold per capita did not. While firearms seems a likely candidate because this is America, after all, firearms related deaths would have probably been a better gauge.

And while astronauts and baseball players seem like the perfect occupation to describe Americans, minimum wage cashiers with no benefits would have been slightly more realistic.

Investment bankers indicted for destroying the economy in 2007 would be a nice stat, but all 50 states would have tied at zero, so why bother?

Here’s the map of which states are the “most American.”

Most American Map

Well how do you like that? New England, where it all began, is light pink, not very American, while Mississippi and Alabama, states plagued by poverty and racism that come in near the bottom in education, rank close to the top. It seems that if you use a really bad data set you come up with a map of America that looks frighteningly like this one:


Well then. It seems that by these standards, the closer your state is to ruby-red Republican, the more “American” you are.

By these…Ridiculous…Standards.

Here’s the complete breakdown for those interested in which state actually has the most bald eagles or for people who care what state you’re most likely to be shot in:


You’ll probably never watch a baseball game the same again. At least…not if you live in Idaho.


Maps and featured image via Estately

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