Prepare To Be Horrified – Ted Cruz Doppelganger Porn Is Here

When Ted Cruz announced that he was suspending his bid for the presidency, you probably thought the worst was over. You could not have been more wrong. The same day Cruz finally accepted his crushing defeat, his female lookalike released her porn flick…and it is even worse than watching the creepy Texas senator eat his own booger.

On April 19, 21-year-old Searcy Hayes appeared on an episode of Maury in the hopes of proving to her fiance, Freddie Green, that he really was the father of her child. The day would turn out well for Hayes, as not only did she get the positive paternity test she was hoping for, but she also got “discovered.” It didn’t take long for the internet to notice her uncanny resemblance to the Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz.

The adult website XHamster, who recently made headlines when they decided to block all users from North Carolina until the state’s sweeping anti-LGBT legislation is repealed, offered Hayes $10,000 to appear in a porn flick on their site.

The couple didn’t even have to think about it and enthusiastically accepted the offer.

We want to buy a truck, pay off our house and we might get married,” Green said.“I never had anyone say, ‘Here’s $10,000! Go make a sex tape.’

“It’s kind of exciting and shocking to know she’s famous, She’s more famous than Madonna!” he added. “I’m with a star.

Remember, some things just can't be unseen. Image via video screen capture.

Remember, some things just can’t be unseen. Image via video screen capture.

The video, PenetraTED, is now live, and it is definitely something that can’t be unseen. It is an amateur video that was shot with an iPhone 4, but honestly, I think better video quality would have made it worse (if that is even possible). The blur is actually kind of a blessing. If you are like me and have a self-destructive compulsion to witness this horrifying spectacle for yourself, you can watch the video here. (Warning, it is definitely NSFW…and regardless, you will be scarred for life.)

Featured image via Twitter 

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