Plastered Michigan Woman Confuses County Jail For Bar, Promptly Arrested

Some people have a hard time knowing when to quit, and that seems especially true in Michigan.

An extremely drunk 39-year-old Michigan woman was arrested around 2 a.m. Sunday morning for confusing the Van Buren County jail for a bar.

Hey, it could happen to anyone, right?

According to the Van Buren County sheriff’s department, the woman showed up to 205 S. Kalamazoo St. completely inebriated, trying to pick her boyfriend up from a local bar in Paw Paw, Michigan. Paw Paw is roughly 15 minutes southwest of Kalamazoo, home of Western Michigan University.

The Hartford-area woman was spotted by Deputy Robert Miersma backing into a parking lot at the jail right around closing time. Upon closer inspection, Deputy Miersma found the woman to reek of alcohol and noticed her movements indicated a high level of intoxication. She admitted to having left a bar in town and was attempting to pick her boyfriend up from what she thought was another bar.

Obviously, she is from out of town, eh? You can’t have much worse luck than that.

Upon delivering a breath test, Miersma found the confused, drunken woman’s alcohol level to be twice that of Michigan’s legal limit of 0.08 percent. Needless to say, the woman now faces drunk driving charges and a whole lifetime’s worth of embarrassment.

It is not currently known whether she indeed found her boyfriend inside; however, it is more than likely she was not able to offer him a ride home.

One thing is for sure, though, this will be one story for the grandkids, but only once they’re 21. Until then, she’ll have to make due with stories of confusing the ice cream truck for the portable library.

Michigan sure knows how to raise the bar for making headlines.

If you’re ever drinking in Paw Paw, be sure to take a drive by the county jail before you start the night. That way, when you cruise by later in the night stinking drunk, your teeth floating and thinking about that late-night run for some greasy food to top off the night’s adventures, you’ll know better than to back in and ask for a nightcap. Take it from this woman – you won’t like what they’re serving.

H/T / (Featured image courtesy of

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