Insane Right-Wing Theocrat Claims Soccer Turns Girls Into Lesbians

According to right-wing theocrat Kevin Swanson, the host for this weekend’s “religious liberty” conference, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team turns young girls into lesbians.

No, it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s the norm for gay hatin’ theocrats, isn’t it?

“With her lesbian whatever”

Kevin Swanson is a warped bigot who hates gay people. For instance, he said God gave gay people AIDs because God loves them. He blamed the “homosexual borg” for “deceiving” Americans, and claimed that gay marriage will lead to Christians being murdered.

But more than anything, Swanson has his eyes set on some of that good ol’ fashioned lesbian lovin’. Last March, Swanson went on the record blaming Walt Disney’s Frozen for turning girls gay. Earlier this year, he blamed the Girl Scouts for turning girls into lesbians.

Like most self-appointed, -important, and -righteous moral guardians, Swanson is constantly vigilant against the phantasms of his own deranged reality that kidnap little girls and turn them into God hating, ball-bashing, emasculating, femnazi lesbians.

And he’s got his eyes set on a new target — the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team:

He was despondent about the number of lesbian players on the U.S. team and was even more despondent that Republican presidential candidates were congratulating the team for winning the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup in Canada. Their victory, Swanson lamented, “was celebrated, of course, by one of the lesbian players doing her lesbian thing with her lesbian whatever.” He said that “those of us who stand against lesbianism” may have to “take a stand against the team itself and what the team has accomplished.”

He went on to declare that the United States was Sodom and that the World Cup team’s celebrations offended God. God, Swanson warned, was going to deliver “divine wrath” — which, if previous performances are any indication, means some poor sucker in Ordzhonikidzevsky, Khakassa or Chekmagush, Bashkortostan just bit the bullet.

He continued, lamenting that gays were “everywhere today” and “Our Christian children are running into homosexuals right and left. They live in our neighborhoods.”

By this point, it’s moot, but Ezekiel is pretty explicit about Sodom and why God wiped it out. It didn’t have anything to do with gay people, but Swanson can’t hear you over the sound of crunching pearls.

Feature image via 

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