Hallelujah! Alabama Church Adds Shooting Range, Now They Can Worship Guns AND God Together

“Seeker Friendly” is a buzz word in many church communities. Basically, it means the church appropriates non religious activities to bring those who may not realize they are seeking a church, home into the flock. The church I grew up in, a Wesleyan Methodist Church, put up volleyball courts, hosted melodramatic dinner theaters, and had softball teams, flag football teams, and of course – 12 step groups. All to recruit people who were perfectly happy without a church to pay tithe to join their church.

The point? Butts in the pews, cash in the offering plate, and ostensibly, souls won to God. Desperate churches are dying of logic and reason, and to combat the attrition they are getting more and more creative. In fact, Pastor Phillip Guin of the Rocky Mountain United Methodist Church in Jemison, Alabama had a great idea – why not use empty space behind the church as a gun range? As a matter of fact, he said, “what’s to stop us from worshiping right here?” in the gun range. I guess it is because nothing is better than worshiping your god where you can also blast the hell out of stuff… pun intended.

Hallelujah, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition! I suppose the only thing better than a church full of adherents is one that is heavily armed and ready to go to war with the infidels… er, um, heathens, the government, liberals… or should I just say non-Christians? Anyway, let me tell you how is it that they came to want a gun range in the red dirt of their unused land. According to Guin, many of their lady parishioners have recently purchased or owned guns for a long time but DON’T know how to use them. 

What you may not know about me is that I am not only a liberal and an Agnostic Pagan, I am also a hunter. Huntress ain’t some super cute nickname so I can wear tights and prance around. There is no excuse for owning a gun you don’t know how to use. It is like making sure that any criminal that comes upon you will be armed eventually, and also assuring that without fail you will probably do something stupid with the gun. If you have never fired a gun, don’t know how to clean it, load it, or clear it to hand it to another person, you are how so called “accidental shootings” happen. No, not by accident, but by neglectful and often uneducated gun owners. I commend the church for taking action to educate these women (wanna bet it was men too? *sigh*), but honestly, why would these people feel they needed to purchase a firearm and not seek out any education or gun safety classes? Why the f*ck do these people think that is OK? Not only OK,  but in this case just a normal thing?

Might as well have said, ‘Oh, we have a bunch of non-educated gun owners here with monotheistic beliefs and hateful views of those that disagree with us in this house of worship. So we figured that a gun range would draw more educated shooters here to teach the less effective ones to not kill themselves.’ If you are offended by that statement on hateful views, read the Bible – don’t blame me for telling you the truth.

Hunters have to have a gun safety class if they are below a certain age in my state, but these women could just purchase firearms they had no idea how to use? We need ‘common sense’ gun laws. Now – not later. I have so many questions…. How much regulation is there on the gun range? What does someone that decides to open an outdoor gun range have to do to get licensed? How do we know the firearms instructors are actually trained?

Were these people, who are so happily making really loud noises in praise of their lord (bang, bang, praise Jesus!), open carrying? I guess that we just have to assume they are trained… even though we know some are not.

Now that is a scary thought.



Image credit: screen shot from video memed by Huntress

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