Catastrophe and doomsday seeking behavior are the norms for the GOP, even though many try to pretend that theirs is not the party of making sh*t up and hoping for the rapture. Instead of worrying about climate change, pollution, education, sustainability, renewable energy sources and the future, the fundies are actually only looking for the end of the world.
1. Surviving The Blood Moon Apocalypse
Several GOP fundamentalist pundits seized on a nonsensical, convoluted, and childish tale about how blood moons and the Shemitah, a biblical day of debt relief, predicted some sort of catastrophe in America on September 13. Apparently, scientifically explained and predictable phenomena like the blood moons and a partial solar eclipse were omens predicting that God’s wrath would be upon us. This is because the founding fathers sold their souls to God in a covenant that makes the USA subject to the same punishments as they believe that Israel will be subject to.
We lived through that horrific day of nothing, despite the dire predictions of floods, earthquakes, financial destruction and even more armageddon-y stuff, but that doesn’t mean this prediction is wrong! The charlatans pushing this prophecy are giving themselves a year, they get to claim any disasters in America as part of the Lords retribution until Sept 13th, 2016. I guess gods get a handicap in scoring for destructive temper tantrums.
2. Hurricane Joaquin Levels New York (Almost)
Fundie religious right activist Bradlee Dean intimated that God was sending Hurricane Joaquin to deal God’s righteous wrath and smite New York because the government funds Planned Parenthood’s cancer screenings and routine medical care.
That sounds legit, except, the hurricane went right on by without any end-of-days mass casualties. Either God isn’t as bloodthirsty as the rest of his followers, or they just plain have no idea what they are talking about.[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/227653814″ params=”color=ff5500″ width=”100%” height=”166″ iframe=”true” /]
3. Economic Destruction: The End Of Life As We Know It
When they aren’t blaming their chosen deity for their own lack of good stewardship of the planet, they are coming up with some very fast and loose predictions of dire consequences caused by, well, basically anything they don’t like.
Rick Wiles predicted that between Sept 9th and 13th the stock market would crash, and warned listeners they only had a few days to get their money out of the markets. Why? Because God was sending a “big attitude adjustment” to America. The plunge he predicted was up to a thirty percent correction, not as big as John Hagee’s Biblical wrath, but still terrifying.
Of course there are many, older, predictions about the “financial destruction” that President Obama’s re-election was supposed to tender that didn’t just not happen, the opposite actually happened.
4. The Gas Price Explosion And Riots Of 2015
Back in March of 2012, Mike Lee predicted from the senate floor that if Obama was reelected gas would cost $5.45 per gallon by the start 2015. Lee’s fear mongering invoked the gas shortages of 1973, and the fears of a nation that were still hurting from the loss of their homes, and still losing them, due to the irresponsible lack of regulations on the Real Estate lending industry and the crash caused by the lack of regulations on banks and Wall Street. He said that gas prices would ultimately reach $6.60 per gallon.
Newt Gingrich, who failed in his bid for the GOP nomination, predicted that if Obama’s reelection would push gas to “$10 a gallon.” Gingrich flanked himself with campaign signs promising $2.50 gas if he was elected and promised to reverse Obama’s energy policies to save us all from this dire consequences.
Of course, those same policies that Gingrich had sworn to topple, much like the GOP field today swears to topple the ACA, has led us to an economic boon – today’s average gas prices are actually $2.24 a gallon.
5. Jade Helm – Obama’s Personal Crowning
Who could forget the whopper that President Obama would be using this year’s Jade Helm military training exercises to overthrow the government and appoint himself Emperor of America. The preposterous myth was pretty widespread in the Agenda 21/Chemtrails crowds and was frequently discussed in hushed voices in secret 4chan chat rooms and every conspiracy group on FB by the tin-foil hat elite.
This is not all of the insanity from the fundie religious right, but it is the top five – for this year, anyway. They are sure to outdo themselves again next year, especially after a Democrat wins the White House.
Feature image via Twitter