WAAAH! Kansas Couple Pitches Fit, Claims Marriage Equality Robs Them Of Marriage

A straight couple in Kansas has taken the” marriage-equality-destroys-real-marriage” mindset to a whole new low. According to The New Civil Rights Movement, they’re actually claiming that marriage equality amounts to theft of their marriage. Seriously. We wish we were making this up, but we aren’t.

Philip and Sandra Unruh feel that, by fundamentally changing the definition of marriage to include same-sex couples, they are being robbed of their own marriage without due process of law. That’s a confusing position to have, considering that no straight couple has found themselves forced to file for divorce after marriage equality became a reality anywhere at all. If that had happened, they might have a case. But it hasn’t, so they can shove it.

Their filing actually references Bible verses, because of course, as we all know, the Bible is the supreme law of the land here (oh wait, no it’s not). They also reference the Kansas State Constitution, which defines marriage as between a man and a woman only. While that ban has not specifically been struck down, the 10th Circuit Court rulings in Oklahoma and Utah establish legal precedent that affects Kansas also. When the Supreme Court refused to hear the Oklahoma and Utah cases, those precedents became binding to the entire 10th Circuit, which includes Kansas.

The filing also makes the ridiculous claim that, when Kansas’ ban on marriage equality passed, nothing changed, because they were already not issuing licenses to same-sex couples. The reason that claim is ridiculous is because those bans specifically denied same-sex couples the opportunity to legally wed. Before states began enacting these bans, nothing about marriage was specific.

What makes these people so special that they think it’s okay to put someone’s rights to a vote, or drag them through the court? Many think that marriage equality really does take something precious from them, which is a very narcissistic and greedy attitude to have. It’s as though these people are afraid they’ll lose superiority over those they perceive to be “less than” because they happen to be gay. Or their marriage is on such tenuous ground that any little bump anywhere will cause it to crumble. Perhaps both.


“Marriage Equality Threat” courtesy of Curtis Fease, used with permission.

Here’s the key language in their filing that shows that they’re more worried about superiority than anything else:

“8. Clearly the Plaintiffs [in the original suit against Kansas’ same-sex marriage ban] seek to redefine the marriage word the Unruhs and thousands like them in Kansas use to describe their relationship in order to extend marriage to them. If the Plaintiffs are successful marriage will no longer be as it has been defined.


9. Plaintiffs are not content to behave as they wish or to find their own name for their relationship without taking the name [the] Unruhs use for their relationship. The Unruhs do not want to share the marriage name and neither did 70% of the Kansans when they voted to [define marriage as between a man and a woman], not because of who the Plaintiffs are but what marriage is.” [emphasis mine]

The Unruhs, and anybody else who thinks like this, might as well be a bunch of whiny, entitled five-year old kids screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! Don’t WANT to share! Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine! You can’t have it! NOT SHARING!” Then they’ll take their ball and go home to finish their temper tantrum. The truth is that nobody has lost their marriage anywhere where marriage equality has passed. That’s not opinion; that’s a cold, hard fact.

Sadly, it’s only a matter of time before some of these idiots decide to divorce, and then go to court claiming that marriage equality forced them to divorce.

 Featured image by Dennis Bratland. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons

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