‘Vomit, Vomit, Vomit’: Conservatives Dissolve Into Rage Over Gay Marriage Ruling (SCREENSHOTS)

While it is unknown if a certain pastor will make good on his threat to set himself ablaze if gay marriage was legalized nationwide, one thing is for certain: Satan has taken control of this once-great nation of ours.

That’s right, America — prepare for plagues of toads and blood-rain and choruses of rainbow-colored demon-monkeys singing hymns to the Dark Lord (not Voldemort, the other one) as Christians are herded into FEMA camps for reprogramming and de-Jesusification.

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June 26 marks the end of America — at least in the minds of the willfully stupid. On Friday, the Supreme Court determined that marriage between two men, or two women, or any combination of the two, is entirely legal. US News reports:

In answering whether the Constitution grants same-sex couples the right to marry, Kennedy – considered the court’s key swing vote – based his decision on the recognition of four fundamental principles, arguing that marriage is inherent to the concept of individual autonomy, that it is of unparalleled importance to committed couples, that it is crucial for safeguarding the rights of the children of couples in committed relationships and that it has long been a keystone of social order.

 He said “no union is more profound than marriage” and that the due process clause of the 14th Amendment extends to “certain personal choices central to individual dignity and autonomy, including intimate choices that define personal identity and beliefs.”

“The nature of injustice is that we may not always see it in our own times,” Kennedy wrote in the 34-page opinion. “The generations that wrote and ratified the Bill of Rights and the Fourteenth Amendment did not presume to know the extent of freedom in all of its dimensions, and so they entrusted to future generations a charter protecting the right of all persons to enjoy liberty as we learn its meaning.”

He also said the same amendment’s equal protection clause “prohibits this unjustified infringement of the fundamental right to marry,” noting the court’s 1967 ruling in Loving v. Virginia – which invalidated prohibitions on interracial marriage – contained a similar finding.

“It is now clear that the challenged laws burden the liberty of same-sex couples, and it must be further acknowledged that they abridge central precepts of equality,” Kennedy wrote. “Here the marriage laws enforced by the respondents are in essence unequal: same-sex couples are denied all the benefits afforded to opposite-sex couples and are barred from exercising a fundamental right.”

Yes, we’ve taken possibly the largest step toward equality since the Civil Rights Act — and conservatives are furious. Just look at the unfettered Christofascist rage present on Fox News’ Facebook page in the wake of the Supreme Court’s decision that marriage is legal in all 50 states:

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Justice Antonin Scalia joined Fox News’ audience in bemoaning the court’s vote to allow gay people equal marriage rights. In a rambling, incoherent dissent, Scalia wrote:

The opinion is couched in a style that is as pretentious as its content is egotistic. It is one thing for separate concurring or dissenting opinions to contain extravagances, even silly extravagances, of thought and expression; it is something else for the official opinion of the Court to do so.22 Of course the opinion’s showy profundities are often profoundly incoherent. “The nature of marriage is that, through its enduring bond, two persons together can find other freedoms, such as expression, intimacy, and spirituality.”23 (Really? Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality [whatever that means] were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie. Expression, sure enough, is a freedom, but anyone in a long-lasting marriage will attest that that happy state constricts, rather than expands, what one can prudently say.) Rights, we are told, can “rise . . . from a better informed understanding of how constitutional imperatives define a liberty that remains urgent in our own era.”24 (Huh? How can a better informed understanding of how constitutional imperatives [whatever that means] define [whatever that means] an urgent liberty [never mind], give birth to a right?)

…What? Moving on…

Sorry “Christians,” your right to religious freedom, like any other right, ends when it begins to impede the rights of others. Same-sex marriage is now the law of the land. Perhaps you should pray about it?

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