Stupid has had a pretty good week — Sarah Palin is downright giddy since the election and Mitch McConnell may have even smiled when he took the Senate Majority leader position. The stupid is truly upon us.
Top Ten total failures of the week:
10. President Obama chews gum at Chinese banquet: The Chinese call him an ‘idler’ and ‘careless rapper’, and the right wing media runs with it. Obama is a long-time user of nicorette gum, but the people of China are used to their heavily polished leadership observing strict etiquette at formal banquets. He should at least get points for putting on the Star Trek uniform! We rated the right wing media outrage as ‘totally stupid.’
9. Arizona’s Proposition 122 was approved this week: Booo! If you’re not familiar with AZ Prop 122, it’s a “Sovereign State” law which grants them the right to reject central government laws and grants the state the power to declare federal laws unconstitutional. It passed with 51.4 percent ‘Yes’ vote on November 9, after provisional ballots were tallied. It will result in a legal nightmare as they battle the EPA, immigration reform and gay marriage. Remember, the Arizona State Legislature passed an anti-gay bill earlier this year, although former Gov. Jan Brewer vetoed it. Way to go AZ! One of the stupidest laws passed during the midterm election.
8. Kim Kardashian’s Nude Photo Shoot: That’s a greasy booty alright! The internet response almost made it worth it. I’ll let Tina Fey explain why Kim’s butt is groan worthy:
7. Cop Shoots Himself and Another Officer: The two are okay, so we can laugh a little. The accident occurred after one of the officer’s service weapon discharged while cleaning it, striking him and another officer being standing nearby. The two are expected to make a full recovery making them very lucky. Hey guys, I think the gun is supposed to be unloaded while you clean it?
6. Social Services takes the wrong child: While a little girl waited in her school’s front office for her mother to pick her up for her doctor’s appointment, a social worker was called to the school to pick up another little girl. The social worker assumed the girl in the front office was the girl she was called to take. The kicker is, the administrators let the woman take the little girl with no contact info.
The mother said:
My daughter was terrified. What if she didn’t make it home?What if you didn’t find her to have her brought back to the school?
The school could only apologize for their terrible mistake. D’oh!
5. The GOPs reaction to US-China agreement on carbon emissions: For the environmentally conscious, this means we can expect the GOP majority in Congress to stomp laws and regulations related to reducing carbon emissions in the near future. Big loss for Earth when the GOP swept the election.
4. The House passes XL Keystone Pipeline Construction Bill: Lawmakers massively overstate how many jobs will be permanently created to get the bill passed. They estimated 40,000 new jobs would be created but misrepresented the figure with the fact that once built the pipeline will only need about 9,000 people to maintain it. Which just isn’t fantastic enough to continue tearing Earth up to feed our exorbitant need for fossil fuels. Sigh.
3. Sarah Palin wishes Billy Graham Happy Birthday: Palin issues a rambling, slurred, name-dropping word salad birthday wish to the evangelical dinosaur, Billy Graham, who celebrated his 96th birthday this week. Sarah has been on cloud nine lately taking jabs at liberals over the midterm election results on her facebook page. Sarah always has a place on our stupid chart.
2. Time wants to ban the word ‘Feminist’: Other words up for banishment in Time’s fourth annual word banishment poll are “bae” and “Om nom nom nom.” Yeah. I guess women who identify with their gender’s struggles for equality is worthy of total banishment? I don’t even…
From Time‘s website:
feminist: You have nothing against feminism itself, but when did it become a thing that every celebrity had to state their position on whether this word applies to them, like some politician declaring a party? Let’s stick to the issues and quit throwing this label around like ticker tape at a Susan B. Anthony parade.
The number one spot for being an abject failure this week goes to…
1. Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas: Cameron released his new movie Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas as he single-handedly battles the evil liberal atheists who for some reason want to take the “Christ” out of “Christmas,” leaving poor Christians with only ‘Mas to celebrate. Just kidding, I haven’t seen it. Yet. Kirk has been on a downward media spiral this week when he said Pagans stole Christmas from Christians. Which is the stupidest thing we’ve ever heard.
So much stupid in one week. I wonder what next week will bring? I need a drink.
H/T: America Photo: Wikipedia