Trump’s plan to get people to stop bringing up the fact that there is evidence that his friends in Russia literally hacked his enemies to help him win the election is simple: Pretend he is an expert on computers and knows more than the…er…experts on computers.
In an insane response to the question of Russian hacking, Trump told reporters that it was unfair to implicate Vladimir Putin (whom he has been very cozy with) in hacking Clinton’s campaign manager.
“I think it’s unfair if they don’t know.”
He added: “And I know a lot about hacking. And hacking is a very hard thing to prove. So it could be somebody else. And I also know things that other people don’t know, and so they cannot be sure of the situation.”
Needless to say, people weren’t buying it.
— Jim Roberts (@nycjim) January 1, 2017
(Reminder: During the campaign, Trump said his only real experience with computers was that his 10-year-old son Barron has one. Bill Gates he is not.)
But he wasn’t finished. He also claimed that not only is he an expert on hacking but that he has ideas for how to avoid it. They are very stupid ideas.
Trump talked to press tonight.
Pool: "No computer is safe from hacking. Secure messages should be sent via courier like in the old days."
— Philip Bump (@pbump) January 1, 2017
Just how long ago is the “old days?”
Enter: Former Michigan congressman and full-time badass John Dingell, a 90-year-old Democrat who uses Twitter burns with the precision of a goddamn surgeon. On reading of Trump’s bold “new” plan to use couriers instead of living in the 21st century, Dingell responded:
I find this to be an archaic viewpoint, and I was born during the damn Coolidge administration. https://t.co/JnFoJwFejN
— John Dingell (@JohnDingell) January 1, 2017
Indeed Trump’s plan gives new meaning to “Make America Great Again” – he apparently meant the 1800s.
The internet was cracking up.
— Arielle J. Goren (@ariellejgoren) January 1, 2017
— Bob Hengen (@BobBobr53) January 1, 2017
@vandasnook1 The homing pigeon was a break-thru!
— michele collins (@michele5411) January 1, 2017
Some also noted that couriers are far from safe. After all, American intelligence finally located Osama Bin Laden by intercepting his – you guessed it – courier. Trump might know this if he actually attended his intelligence briefings or read a book that didn’t have his name on the cover.
If John Dingell lives another 90 years it will be over far too soon. He’s the hero we need to help us keep our sanity in these insane times.
Featured image via Spencer Platt/Getty Images