Hilarious New Reports Detail Palin Family’s Drunken Birthday Party Brawl

Alaska prosecutors have announced that no charges will be filed after the Palin family and other attendees at a birthday party engaged in a violent, alcohol-fueled free-for-all that left Todd Palin with a busted nose and Track Palin on his back. While there is still no much-desired video of the fight available, The Smoking Gun obtained police reports from the day of the fight.

The report lists Bristol Palin as a suspect, her brother Track as a vicrim, Todd and Sarah Palin as witnesses, and Willow Palin as a “person interviewed.”

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Korey Klingenmeyer notes that he was “angry the Palins had showed up and were causing the problems,” and that “A fight broke out and the Palins ended up losing.”

One report from responding officer who spoke to one of the guests of honor, Matthew McKenna, notes that he was advised twenty people were in the street fighting. He says that when he arrived, a group of people reeking of booze, one male blood-covered and shirtless, was walking toward a limousine stopped at the intersection.


Another report notes that Bristol Palin attempted to explain away her attack on party host Korey Klingenmeyer  with a claim that he pushed her to the ground without provocation, then proceeded to call her a “slut” repeatedly.

The officer spoke to Steven Lebida, who was found in a truck attempting to leave and was bleeding from his eye and nose. Lebida said that he tripped and hit his face on the pavement, then refused to say what had happened.


The details of the fight are hilarious: Read for yourself!

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Additional witness reports reveal that Bristol Palin is more insane than normal, when she is drunk.8palinfight 10palinfight 12palinfight 13palinfight

The Smoking Gun also obtained a partial list of those interviewed, as well as “victims.”

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If there is one thing that can be learned from this, it is that the Palins possess a victim mentality that few can match. It’s rather impressive, when you think about it.

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