Ben Stein was absolutely hilarious in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Who didn’t love those Visine commercials? As a speech writer for Richard Nixon, Stein authored some of the most hilarious lies in history. As a commentator for Fox News, Stein is continuing his legacy of being the funniest guy in the room.
Alongside a blonde woman who could be any of the female Fox anchors, Ben poured out some soundbytes today that may even have some Republicans struggling to keep a straight face:
I watch with incredible fascination about how the Democratic politicians, especially Hillary, are trying to whip up the African-American vote and say, uh, the Republicans have policies against black people when there are no such policies.
Bwahahahaha! There’s nothing better than a line delivered with that gravelly Stein voice. Those non-existent policies like the voter ID laws being passed in hopes that the stereotype that blacks won’t be able to afford an ID and won’t vote are a figment of your imagination:
The idea that the economy is being used in some way to oppress minorities is just an outrageous lie.
Anyone? Anyone? The correct answer is the attempted abolition of affirmative action coupled with resistance to increasing the minimum wage:
The idea that the Republican Party is in some way making life more difficult for black people is just complete nonsense.
Typically when rhetoric this absurd is being spewed the class fades off to doodle ‘Save Ferris’ on their trapper keepers, but you just know there’s that one kid paying attention who can’t believe his ears. He understands that to Republicans black people are nothing but votes for Democrats. He knows that Republicans traded the N word for ‘thug’ and watches in amazement as the right-wing media plays story after story of blacks committing crimes while ignoring the white sociopath who just dropped his 14th victim in a ditch by the highway. White collar bankers and stockbrokers have driven us into the ground, but they represent good old-fashioned white people money, so no harm there:
The Republicans, by virtue of supporting the policies that stopped the crash of 2008-2009 from being a great depression stopped a real economic catastrophe.
See, now when I watch the movie I won’t be nearly as inclined to believe Ben Stein could possibly be a history teacher. He just rewrote a whole bunch of it. Republicans, by virtue of supporting wars for profit on credit cards, unfunded drug benefits as gifts to big pharma, deregulation allowing Wall Street onto Main Street and deficits out of control due to tax cuts for the wealthy had nothing to do with the crash. Of course, it was Republicans who were all for the stimulus package! They jumped behind the auto bailout. They couldn’t get enough of the energy tax credit, the increase earned income credit or the unemployment extensions. Clinton caused this whole mess, since he’s the guy before Obama, and it was the all-knowing all-seeing Republicans who have benevolently restored our economy to a state of growth:
This President is the most racist President there has ever been in America. He is purposely trying to use race to divide Americans.
Yes, it’s true. The President who has been met with more obstruction than any other in history, with race being the one and only differentiating factor, is a racist. The man is called a Kenyan Muslim, as if that were an insult, not just by the illiterate morons who follow Mr. Conservative but by actual politicians and public figures. If you listen to the right, Obama is only interested in importing illegals and enacting Sharia law in America. Now Ben Stein has called him a racist:
The Republicans are the most pro-black party there’s ever been.
Oh my. I just spit a little coffee through my nose. Republican voters who hit the Mitt Romney button were white ninety-nine out of a hundred times. You won’t find signs with the Obamas’ heads on monkey bodies at Democratic rallies. Democrats aren’t the ones gerrymanding jigsaw puzzles around black neighborhoods to keep white Republicans in the House.
Ben Stein has always been a funny guy. Lately he’s become quite a bit less likable.