Pat Robertson is a figure we don’t hear a lot about anymore. In part, because he’s no longer the king of crazy, but also because he’s been eclipsed by the Gold Calf that he worships at the feet of, Donald Trump.
But he’s still alive, and he made some waves during a campaign rally for the Teflon Don at Regent University. Robertson founded the Christian college and has been a supporter of the GOP nominee, so it should surprise nobody to learn he made some remarks to open the rally.
And, well, let’s just say they lived up to his usual fabulist tendency.
“Give a Warning”
When it comes to sheer precognitive prowess, Crazy Uncle Pat can’t be matched. He’s plenty of things — for instance, he’s a child rearing expert, a tax specialist, a marriage and grief counselor, an expert botanist, and a career coach — but psychic has always ranked high on that list.
My sources tell me that his hotline with God is 1-800-Blood-Diamonds. A diamond is forever and so too, apparently, is Robertson’s venality.
Random tangents aside, he put that precognitive prowess on display Saturday during a rally held by Spray-tan Hitler at his university in Virgina, in what’s certainly a display of such amazing foresight we’ll be writing about it for the next three years and wonder why we ever doubted him.
He recalled that the first time he ever met the failed real estate slum lord and Great White Savor was while attending an Evander Holyfield fight. Trump was facing down financial difficulties at the time, but he told Robertson that he was going to recover.
Who knew bankruptcy was the magical panacea for all personal financial ills? Not people who are poor, that’s for sure.
Anyway, since Trump discovered that having money means your credit score essentially doesn’t matter, his financial status shockingly improved. This prompted Robertson to issue a warning to professional bookies in Las Vegas:
“I want to give a warning to the bookies in Vegas. If you bet against Donald Trump, you’re gonna lose your shirt.”
If those bookies were smart, they’d set up and take notice. This is the man who successfully predicted that Romney would win in 2012 because Jesus said so; who correctly predicted the end of the world not just once but three times: 2015, 2014, and in 1982; who correctly predicted oil at $3,000 a barrel; and that the Middle East went haywire in 2008 leading to nuclear strikes on American soil.
You Las Vegas bookies better take note. If Robertson’s track record holds, he just told you exactly who to bet on.
Watch the video below:
Feature image via video screen capture