Neo-Con Asks Newspaper About Their ‘Liberal Agenda’ — Their Answer Is Simply Awesome

April 30th is “Honesty Day” in the United States, so a modern-day conservative decided to take advantage of the opportunity to ask his local newspaper why they’re so liberal.

David Fry of Charlotte, NC asked the Charlotte Observer’s editorial page editor a question he probably thought would be taken as some sort of insult:

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Why do you support such a liberal agenda? Remember you’re supposed to answer honestly.

Rather than take a middle-of-the-road approach to Fry’s question, Batten took out the big guns and obliterated him with this absolutely amazing answer:

We believe that everyone is created equal.

We believe that children should not bear responsibility for the sins of their parents.

We believe that prevention is a heck of a lot cheaper than a cure.

We believe people should not be treated as lesser citizens, with fewer rights, because of whom they love.

We believe a thriving city, state and nation rests to a great degree in the quality of its public schools, and that every child deserves a dedicated, dynamic teacher, regardless of what ZIP code that child lives in.

We believe discrimination is wrong in every instance.

We believe in consistency, so if you are going to drug-test recipients of public assistance, drug-test them all, including the corporate chieftains who are the biggest beneficiaries.

We believe that police officers should act professionally, under incredibly difficult circumstances, regardless of a suspect’s race.

We believe taxes should be kept as low as possible while still providing a sound safety net for the neediest, a robust education for all, decent health care for the elderly and the destitute, and other basics.

We believe politicians of any party should keep their promises, avoid the appearance of personal gain from the public trust, and look out for the general welfare, not that of any one special interest.

We believe there are people of worth beyond our tight circle and there are neighborhoods beyond our own, with different histories, perspectives and needs.

We believe offenders have paid their price when their sentence is up and should be helped to assimilate back into society. And that that’s better for the community than neglecting them and watching them commit another crime.

We believe there are peace-loving Muslims.

We do not believe President Obama was born in Kenya.

We believe in the separation of church and state.

We believe Moore Place, built with public and private money, and its housing-first approach is a model for how to help the chronically homeless.

We believe Charlotte will need effective mass transit to handle its continually swelling population.

We believe if you’re a fan of a politician solely because he has a ‘D’ or an ‘R’ after his name, then you’re not paying attention.

We believe we have only one planet, and we should protect it for our grandchildren.

And the truth shall set you free. The liberal agenda is nothing to be ashamed of, it’s not something we hide behind, it’s a way of life. A political, social and economic ideology that the world needs to be a better place. If for some reason David Fry od Charlotte thought he was going to get an obtuse answer to a question liberals love to answer, he’s as dimwitted as the party he supports.

Batten ended his schooling of Fry with this:

If that earns us the label “liberal” in your eyes, Mr. Fry, so be it. We approach the issues of the day with an open mind and guided by those principles, not by blind devotion to any political party. And that’s the honest truth.

And there it is. The honest truth is that if the Republican party decided to abandon its shameless pandering to big business, hatred for the poor and advocacy for religion, we liberals might just take their candidates and elected officials seriously.
Since that’s never gonna happen, we instead choose to back people who care about our country, our planet and our children.
Featured image via Screen capture
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