Michele Bachmann’s Despicable Article About Brussels Rivals Any Of Sarah Palin’s Drunken Rants

Michele Bachmann, believe it or not, actually has a college degree. A law degree no less. It may come as a shock to many that this absolutely brilliant woman rivals writers from outlets like The New York Times and Washington Post when she puts pen to paper. That’s exactly what she did Wednesday when she wrote a well-researched, articulate piece for the esteemed conservative news outlet, WND.

Hahahahaha! Yeah, I’m just kiddin’ ya. Let’s try that again:

Michele Bachmann may have gone to college, but it’s obvious from her lack of knowledge about…anything…that she never actually studied. She did somehow manage to graduate, though the stupidity she spews on a regular basis suggests otherwise. Her writing seems to flow somewhat naturally with few errors, suggesting a team of editors probably spends hours turning it from the drivel she submits to the drivel their illiterate base won’t read more than 11 words of anyway. That seems to be what happened Wednesday when a ridiculous diatribe with her name on it appeared on the propaganda hatefest known as WND.

There. Now that we have THAT straight.

Bachmann is very upset with President Obama, you see, because while he was in Cuba, terrorists killed a bunch of people in Brussels. Rather than focus on the senseless violence and talk about those left to suffer the loss of friends and loved ones, Bachmann instead decided to blame the president for the attacks, because God sent those terrorists to “humiliate” him:

Or maybe our president’s humiliation comes in a manner so devastating it makes one wonder whether the Creator of humankind isn’t reminding this world of the inferiority of foolishness in the face of wisdom.

The president once again mocked his nemesis, the Jewish people and the nation of Israel, by cleverly turning the international press corps toward his brilliant work in Cuba, instead of covering ongoing Islamic attacks against the Jewish state as outlined that very same day at the annual pro-Israel AIPAC meeting in Washington, D.C.

History changed less than 24 hours later in the blink of an eye, and the rug was pulled out from under his well-laid plans.

So…The President planned this trip to Cuba to misdirect the press from covering a terrorist attack that happened…while he was in Cuba. Is Bachmann saying the president planned the attack himself? Is she saying he willed it into existence with his anti-Christ powers? Is she saying anything that anyone can understand at all? Sarah Palin probably gets it; I certainly don’t.

Next up on the docket: dumbass rambling about Islam:

Three men committed to a false God and a doctrine of demons chose death to advance Western civilization’s defeat.

This week, some 2,000 years ago, a Jewish Savior named Jesus willingly gave His life as a substitutionary sacrifice to pay for the sins of all humankind, to reconnect us with the God who made us.

This compare-and-contrast of competing worldviews was soberingly and glaringly revealed.

Goodness me that’s terrifying. It’s nowhere near reality, but still, it’s terrifying. In reality, The three men were committed to a perverted view of the same God she worships: The God of Abraham. In reality, this week 2000 years ago appears in only one text, the bible, and it isn’t exactly historical. In reality, Constantine named a holiday after the pagan goddess Ishtar, worshipped in the early days of spring for her contributions to human sexuality and reproduction. In case you were wondering, her name is pronounced “Easter.”

The reality is that Michele Bachman is as much a religious zealot as a jihadist, it just manifests itself differently. She may not believe in strapping on a suicide vest, but she decries those who don’t believe as she does just as vehemently. After much babbling, Bachmann continued the task of disrespecting the president and pretending she has a clue what it means to be the leader of the free world on a diplomatic trip to a nation that hasn’t welcomed a sitting American President in nearly a century:

He rewarded himself and his entourage of 40 members of Congress by attending a baseball game under the balmy Cuban sun amidst swaying palm trees.

Meanwhile, first responders in Brussels must bear the burden of cleaning up the consequences of the ill-fated decisions of Angela Merkel, Barack Obama and other ideological merchants who traffic in the dangerous fantasy of multicultural diversity, globalization and one-world nonsense.

No, we aren’t all the same. We don’t believe the same things, nor do we hold to the same values.

No, stupid. He didn’t reward himself with anything. He continued with a scheduled trip. He continued making history. Perhaps he should have told the Cuban people, “I’m sorry, but there were suicide bombings in Belgium, I need to get to Minnesota so I can pray with Michelle Bachmann.”

The entire article reeks of idiocy. It also reeks of a ghost writer — there are far too many $3 words for Bachmann to be responsible for all of it.

Featured image by Steve Pope/Getty Images

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