Irrelevant Chris Christie Makes Himself More Irrelevant By Vowing To Go After Legal Weed

Even though most national Republicans have since given up on Governor Tony Soprano (even Ted Cruz is looking better) on account of his seemingly never-ending Bridge-Gate indictments and corruption scandals, Chris Christie is still lusting for the presidency despite being hated by America as much as his own state. The professional YouTube screamer and occasional Governor of New Jersey has made it abundantly clear that he opposes marijuana legalization, once saying “I am not going to turn our state into a place where people fly into to get high.”

Well, as of now they come to New Jersey to get high off industrial fumes. But for a man who claims to deplore weed so much despite its massive health benefits and increasingly mainstream appeal, he must secretly be smoking it if he thinks he’ll ever be president. 

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Even though states like Colorado legalized marijuana and Republicans are supposed to get hard for State’s Rights, the blustery blob of buffoonery had the unmitigated audacity to say that he would ignore the states on marijuana.

“If you’re getting high in Colorado today, enjoy it,” Christie, a Republican campaigning for the 2016 presidential nomination, said Tuesday during a town-hall meeting at the Salt Hill Pub in Newport, New Hampshire. “As of January 2017, I will enforce the federal laws.” (Bloomberg Politics)

And if anyone has self-discipline and understands self-abuse, it’s the man who had to get his freaking stomach stapled from eating too much. But while Christie and the 2016 GOP Candidates are living in the 1950s, the rest of America is getting behind recreational marijuana. For example, 53 percent of Americans presently feel that recreational pot use should be legal and voters in four states already did so, but Christie is against it. One really has to wonder if Christie and Donald Trump were separated at birth.


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michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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