Here Are 5 Of The Biggest GOP ‘Family Values’ Hypocrites Caught In Dirty Sex Acts

It seems that not a week, a day, a second, or even a nanosecond goes by without news of some nauseatingly anti-gay, misogynistic “family values” right-winger turning out to either be gay or cheating on his wife in some “50 Shades of Gray”-esque sex scandal, but still the right-wing insists that it is the party of morality. How hypocritical are they? Obviously, there’s not enough bandwidth in the world to house every right-wing offender, so I’ll just be focusing on the more notable ones.

5 Right-Wing Moralists That Are Lousy Sex Hypocrites

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Newt Gingrich

Image via @wonkette

Image via @wonkette

One of his loudest critics of Bill Clinton’s extramarital affair with Monica Lewinsky was House of Representatives Speaker Newt Gingrich. Gingrich asserted that Clinton showed “a level of disrespect and decadence that should appall every American.” Of course, while Newt was blasting Clinton, he was serving his sick and dying wife divorce papers on her death-bed. That’s stone cold and extra Christiany! He’s now on his third wife because he just can’t find the right woman to satisfy his lust for hypocrisy.

David Vitter

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Image via

Oh my, where to start with this creepy creep? Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) is known for his extreme social conservatism. For example, Vitter supported a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage nationwide, promoted abstinence-only sex education, and called for school board meetings in Louisiana to open with prayers. You know, a true fun-loving Christian. Well, it turns out that Mr. Vitter loves Jesus so much that he cheated on his longtime wife when he used a notorious DC escort service in 2007. And we’re not talking about mundane “pay for sex” stuff, either. Vitter paid hookers to put him diapers. I must have missed that lesson in Sunday School.

Notwithstanding, David Vitter refused to resign and was actually re-elected to the Senate in 2010, proving that the entire state of Louisiana must have a diaper fetish too – even while saying they aren’t cool with two people of the same gender marrying.

Larry Craig

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Image via

Ah, Mr. Idaho Two-Step. During his 18 years in the Senate and 10 years in the House, Republican Larry Craig of Idaho was a religious extremist with virulently anti-gay views.  For example, Craig opposed gay men serving in the U.S. military, and wanted an amendment that would have outlawed same-sex marriage nationwide. But in 2007,  the happily married Larry Craig found himself ensnared in controversy after he was arrested for lewd conduct in a men’s room stall at the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport. It seems an undercover cop said that Craig’s behavior implied he was looking for a sexual encounter.  Of course, Craig plead guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct.  Worse yet, in December 2007, eight gay men told the Idaho Statesman that they had either had sexual affairs with Craig or that he had made sexual advances to them. Ouch! It’s hard suppressing your inner self-loathing homosexual these days, huh?

Ted Haggard

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Image via @

Oh boy, here we go. Just to give you a brief glimpse into the style of fundamentalism that evangelical preacher Haggard espoused, he was like if Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell got it on and had a child. Naturally, Haggard was a big supporter of George Bush and was very much responsible for touting all that  GOP “values voters” crap in 2004. Haggard has vigorously spoke out against abortion, premarital sex, adultery and gay marriage. You know–all the typical right-wing, outdated noise. But it seems Haggard not only has a love for cheating on his wife with young male hookers, but he loves doing crystal meth as well. That’s like the wining the lottery of right-wing hypocrisy.

Josh Duggar

Image via @Memegenerator

Image via @Memegenerator)

Always save the most vile and putrid of right-wing hypocrites for last. Josh Duggar, the ousted Family Research Council – he took that term a little too literally – director and former star of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting takes the whole freaking bakery when it comes to right-wing hypocrisy.  Josh Duggar was a loud opponent of gay marriage and gay rights. Disgustingly enough, Duggar once said that gays are a “threat to children.” Well, this piece of dog excrement was recently found to have molested several underage girls as a teenager, including his own sisters (EW!). Seriously, if you search “creepy” in Google, this guy’s vile visage might pop up.

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