Every once in a while, the perfect pun comes along. You know them when you see them. They’re so good, you have to come back and use them again and again. And in situations of discomfort, or fear, or even danger, a pun can be a lifesaver, or an icebreaker, or just something to remind everyone that not everything is serious all the time.
Donald Trump presents America with those situations every day. And although there are plenty of good jokes and puns about his hair or his complexion or the likelihood that he has, um, nether regions that match his abnormally tiny hands, none of those are actually perfect. They’re physical digs, and those are a dime a dozen.
But the funniest one of them all rolls right off the tongue because it’s already a part of our everyday vernacular. We say “Trump’s ties to Big Oil,” and “Trump’s ties to Putin’s Russia,” but really we could just stop at Trump’s Ties: They’re f*cking hilarious. And nothing is funnier than taking something that’s already funny and making it even better. So today we’re revisiting a Twitter account that popped up back in February specifically for the purpose of making Donald Trump’s neckties even funnier than they already are:
Here’s Trump ruminating over the fact that the Russia investigation had by this time reached the “money laundering” stage.
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) August 31, 2017
Trump, Pence, and the notoriously filthy Paul Ryan engage in some three-way bondage.
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) September 2, 2017
A secret affair between Trump and a top Democrat? Only the tie knows.
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) September 8, 2017
“Florida can’t be as wet as my tie right now, am I right guys? Guys?”
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) September 14, 2017
“Trump Fires Underage Gardener For Mowing Over His Signature Power Tie”
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) September 15, 2017
“No, Mister F*cking President, the Hanoi Hilton is not a hotel.”
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) September 22, 2017
It’s too bad Pence didn’t take a knee, he would’ve jerked Donnie right out of the 400 level of Lucas Oil Stadium.
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) October 9, 2017
Trump teaches Mitch that little trick Paul Ryan showed him.
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) October 16, 2017
We don’t know exactly who’s behind the genius Twitter account, but we at least have a clue that it’s a woman. After the social media giant suspended Rose McGowan’s account on October 11. a hashtag surfaced called #WomenBoycottTwitter, and @TrumpsTies was among those participating in the blackout:
Have a good Friday, friends. See you on the flip side. #WomenBoycottTwitter
— Trump’s Ties (@TrumpsTies) October 13, 2017
Whoever it is, I’m following her. I keep checking back, because everyone knows in the age of Trump, we can all use a laugh.
Featured image via Twitter