Ted Cruz Has A Way Of Uniting People… In Their Hatred For Him

What is it about the Republican party that attracts narcissists obsessed with world domination? The walking comb-over ego-trip known as Donald Trump pretty much defines self-centered pompous ass. The extremes of what it means to be Trump are so well documented that he needs no further mention beyond a comparison to the man who is currently running second behind him in the Republican primaries, Ted Cruz.

Trump may have an advantage over Cruz by, possibly, not having any friends. As for Cruz, pretty much anyone and everyone he has any contact with thinks he is a walking phallus. This is something Ted has had to deal with for a long time, and he has openly admitted that he may not be a charming and warm individual. During one of the Republican debates, he commented:

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If you want someone to grab a beer with, I may not be that guy.

Of course, he was referencing the 2004 presidential election where nearly a majority preferred to drink with a C-student former alcoholic as opposed to a future Secretary of State. The continuation of that sad attempt at self-deprecation speaks more to Ted’s character than whether or not you want to drink with him.

But if you want someone to drive you home, I will get the job done and I will get you home.

Yeah, Ted, I bet you say that to all the ladies. No, seriously, he comes across as the creepy guy who has an inflated sense of self-worth and confidence but just can’t understand why the girls avoid him. According to interviews with several people who had attended Princeton with Cruz:

Fellow classmates who asked that their names not be used described the young Cruz with words like “abrasive,” “intense,” “strident,” “crank,” and “arrogant.” Four independently offered the word “creepy,” with some pointing to Cruz’s habit of donning a paisley bathrobe and walking to the opposite end of their dorm’s hallway where the female students lived.

The reputation Cruz amassed during his years at Princeton did cost him a presidential election, only on a smaller scale. When Ted decided to run for president of the American Parliamentary Debate Association, the other members held a secret emergency meeting where they selected another member as a nominee. This “nominee” is quoted as saying:

My one qualification for the office was that I was not Ted Cruz.

Cruz lost that election and things don’t seem to have changed much over the years. Before becoming a Tea Party darling, Cruz worked on George W. Bush’s 2000 campaign. When interviewed by Mother Jones, an unnamed Bush staffer said of Cruz:

The quickest way for a meeting to end would be for Ted to come in. People would want out of that meeting. People wouldn’t go to a meeting if they knew he would be there. It was his inability to be part of the team. That’s exactly what he was: a big asshole.

Since then, Cruz has continued on his quest to steal the title of Biggest Douche In The Universe from John Edwards. Along the way, he has managed to alienate and anger anyone who refuses to tape tea bags to a tricorn hat. For example, when given the choice between Trump or Cruz, former presidential candidate Senator Lindsey Graham likened the choice to “being shot or poisoned.” He continued to describe Cruz as someone who is “ideological to a fault” and who will have a “very difficult time proving that he is a problem solver.” Ted has also received consistent scorn from what he refers to as “establishment” Republicans who he claims are throwing their support behind Trump.

When people dislike you so much they are willing to support Donald Trump, well, that speaks volumes in itself.

Featured image via YouTube screen capture.


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