WATCH: A Refresher Course On The Clown Car’s Newest 2016 Contender, Mike Huckabee (VIDEO)

It’s only Tuesday, but it’s still a very busy week for Republican presidential candidates, including Mike Huckabee. The former Arkansas governor tossed his hat in the ring late this morning from a local community college in his state, joining retired neurosurgeon turned GOP shill Ben Carson and disgraced former HP President Carly Fiorina, both of whom announced their campaigns one day earlier.

Huckabee already has a campaign video going around, too (see it below), and that includes wonderful Southern-charm statements like:

Any drunken redneck can walk into a barroom and start a fight. A leader only starts a fight he’s prepared to finish.

But should The Huckster’s campaign even leave the barstool? This guy has quite a lot of dirt on him, and that could quickly take him down (if only the RWNJs who participate in Republican primaries would put down their bibles and automatic weapons long enough to notice).

Here’s a quick refresher course on the quackiness found in his personal history:

Mike Huckabee was a televangelist.

He wasn’t just a pastor at two different Arkansas churches before he became a politician. Huckabee operated two 24-hour religious TV stations, too. He also served as president of his state’s Baptist Convention from 1989 to 1991.

Mike Huckabee’s “faith” is full of conspiracy theories and male dominance.

Tired of hearing those “Obama is a Kenyan Muslim” stories? Well, tough – this minster/candidate combo loves to spout those gibberisms. Stories that the president was raised in Kenya are ones the Huckster loves to tell, complete with “all Muslims are evil” epilogues.

Oh, and ladies? You should know that forcible rape is okay, according to Huckabee. Guys shouldn’t be bothered if you file sexual harassment charges against them, because that’s the same as ordering fried chicken. Of course, you wouldn’t be so bad if you’d just stay away from birth control, because that’s immoral – and is also a sign that you can’t control your own sexual desire, Huckabee says.

Mike Huckabee’s faith has politically-tainted faults.

All Christians are supposed to forgive. The Huck made a regular practice of forgiveness, too, pardoning over 1,000 convicts during his term as governor. But many of the ones who got the Huckster Absolution only wound up back behind bars, though, and for worse offenses.

For example, Maurice Clemmons was in an Arkansas prison after five different felony convictions. Huckabee awarded him clemency, though, resulting in parole. Clemmons was later apprehended for killing four police officers in another state.

Some of his pardons appear politically-motivated, too. For example, in 1985 Wayne Dumond was convicted of raping a 17-year-old relative of Bill Clinton, who was governor of Arkansas at the time. Shortly after Huckabee took the governor’s mansion, he personally appeared before a parole board arguing for Dumond’s release, claiming the rape conviction only resulted from Clinton’s influence. When that didn’t work, he pardoned Dumond. And not long after that release? Dumond was arrested and later convicted of raping another woman – and killing her, too.

Mike Huckabee is a crook.

While Arkansas governor, Huckabee was investigated for 16 charges of ethics violations involving bribery and misuse of taxpayer money. He tried to skirt around the claims, delaying the release of documentation requested by investigators, but he was eventually found guilty on five of them, all of which involved him and his wife accepting gifts, one of which was $80,000.

He got around the other charges, which included Huckabee billing the state for his drycleaning, restaurant meals, and boat supplies, all of which he claimed were necessary expenses for the office.

And when he left the governor’s mansion after his last term, the Huckster took some of the state-owned furniture with him. That was okay, though, because his supporters claimed parting gifts are required for ministers.

Here’s the Huck’s campaign kickoff video:



Image: Donkey Hotey via Flickr

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