Earth To Jeb: Here Are 4 Reasons Americans Already Work Harder Than All Industrialized Nations

Jeb Bush, proving again that the only Bush that belongs anywhere near the White House is in the Rose Garden, made a complete of Romney of himself when the dynastic plutocrat demanded that Americans work harder than they already do. You know, because America didn’t already show its disgust of out-of-touch patricians when they soundly rejected Mitt Romney in 2012.

This Wednesday, the man known only as Jeb! showed and complete and utter lack of appreciation for how hard Americans work, thus proving he simply cannot separate himself from the ridiculously uber wealthy upbringing and advantages he had.

Here Are 4 Reasons Americans Already Work Harder Than All Industrialized Nations:

1. Americans put in more hours on the job than the English, more than the French (obviously), way more than the Germans or Norwegians, and, incredibly enough, more than the Japanese. That’s right–we now work more than the guys who were kicking our a*s in the 80s, and who commit ritual suicide if they disgrace themselves while making sex robots.

2. America hold the dubious distinction as being the only rich nations that doesn’t guarantee paid vacations or holidays. While Jeb’s brother George was clearing brush and making shots on lavish gold courses while Americans were dying in Iraq, Americans were working their tails off on gorgeous days to keep from drowning. Moreover, they were sacrificing spending quality time with their families on Thanksgiving in order to be able to eat a basic meal. But the man who’s connected to the most powerful family in the world next to the House of Al-Saud thinks your lazy and can work more for his corporate benefactors.

3. America is the only developed country that doesn’t guarantee paid maternity or parental leave to workers, joining such bastions of democracy and development as Papua New Guinea and Oman. Seriously, I just wrote that. We’re number 1!! The Guardian points out:

Compared to other rich nations in the OECD group, America’s outlier status is stark: the UK guarantees 39 weeks of paid leave for mothers, two of which are mandatory. Australia offers 18 weeks. And Mexico, the US’s neighbor to the south, gives mothers 12 weeks of paid leave, reimbursed at 100% of their salary. Most of these countries also offer paid leave for fathers, but the most comprehensive data we found counts maternity leave separately.

4. The U.S. is 65th in world on gender pay gap. We’re number 65! We’re number 65! Now, you may want to have a xanax before you read this, but it seems the world’s poorest countries lead the equality ranking. Burundi, where four out of five people live below the poverty line, is the top country in women’s pay, according to CNN Money. Freaking Burundi! Most of us didn’t even know that was even a real place.

Featured image via Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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