Donald Trump Is NOT A Billionaire And Sucks At REAL Business…And Here’s Why

Donald Trump’s entire reason for being is that he’s a brilliant businessman who gets things done. He also knows a lot of smart people, even if he still believes he’s the “smartest guy in the room.” Like with everything associated with this bitchy orange mean girl, it’s all just puffed-up, facile allusions that he just so happens to repeat (loudly) many times over. If you repeat something enough–or put it on every billboard or building–people will start to believe it. And that’s pretty much Donald Trump.

But here’s the thing: he’s not a billionaire, and he thoroughly sucks at REAL business. 

Let’s just take a look at some of the many failed enterprises he’s owned and that have floundered: Trump Vodka, Trump Steaks, Trump University, and casinos just to name a few.  In fact, he doesn’t actually own the majority of the buildings that bear his name. The fact is that he has essentially lost all of his casinos to bankruptcies, and, hilariously enough, he doesn’t even have creative ownership over “The Apprentice.”  And when it comes to fellow entrepreneurs like Mark Cuban, Trump looks even more silly.

When you’re putting your name on steaks, you’re putting your name on water, you’re putting your name on playing cards, you’re putting your name on all this nonsense, right, you’re not going to make big bucks, no matter what. Cuban recalls asking Trump: What the hell are you doing? Are you that desperate for money?

And what’s this about him being a billionaire?

Daffy Donald loves to tout his billions of dollars that he has accrued over the years, but it may turn out that he isn’t even a billionaire. Trump’s election filings claimed only $165 million in liquid assets, meaning he’s most likely not a billionaire. But everything with this bombastic, blustery blob of orange is about image. As long he keeps shoveling sh*t in a luxurious fashion, his besotted supporters will be screaming for seconds.

Featured image via Getty|Peter Kramer / Staff

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