Christie Takes Over As Mr. 9/11, Exploits Tragedy With Lie And Gets Handily Smacked Down

Although Donald Trump and his complete and utter d*ckishness is all everyone wants to talk following The First Episode of this Summer’s new show, American Clown Car 2015, there was an equally big a-hole at last night’s debate. And no–I’m not referring to the worst spokesperson for Buick in Mike Huckabee. Rather, the occasional New Jersey Governor and professional YouTube Screamer in Chris Christie, a man who is polling lower than the margin of error and had NO business being there last night.

Seeing as I’m both a political junkie and humorist, I tend to remember key moments in our tarnished democracy. One of the moments, for example, took place in the distant land of 2007 between then 2008 GOP Candidate Ron Paul and former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani. The lispy mayor, whose sentences consisted of a noun, a verb and 9/11 as Joe Biden once hilariously put it, was thoroughly owned by Ron Paul on the issue of terrorism and the neocons fruitless foreign intervention.

Seriously, I urge you to watch it again as it was a thing of beauty. Now, I am by no means a follower of Rand Paul, but I could not help but feel like he was channeling his dad when he shot down the silly and extremist Christie with regards to domestic spying in  the War on Terrorism. Today, Rand took anther shot at the totally inept and utterly hated Christie when he tweeted@ChrisChristie will fear monger and violate your Constitutional rights. And for what?”

But Christie immediately took over the role as exploiter of the greatest act of terrorism when his cartoonish rage turned him into an incoherent blob of lies, clearly showing this guy belongs in the steel cage and not the oval office. During his blustery and incoherent response to Paul’s spanking of him, Christie flagrantly lied when he said that he  was “appointed U.S. attorney by President Bush on September 10th, 2001.”

I was appointed U.S. attorney by President Bush on September 10th, 2001, and the world changed enormously the next day, and that happened in my state. This is not theoretical to me. I went to the funerals. We lost friends of ours in the Trade Center that day. My own wife was two blocks from the Trade Center that day, at her office, having gone through it that morning. (EmptyWheel)

There’s a lot wrong with that statement, but for the sake of time (and sanity) I’ll just focus on the Attorney General part.

It was actually December 7, 2001 — three months after the attacks — when President Bush released this notice of nomination of Christie:

The President intends to nominate Christopher J. Christie to be United States Attorney for the District of New Jersey.   Christie has been a partner with Dughi, Hewitt and Palatucci of Cranford, New Jersey since 1987.  He is a graduate of the University of Delaware and Seton Hall University School of Law. (EmptyWheel)

Rick Perry, whose numbers are just slightly more pathetic than Christie’s and thus didn’t make the cut for the prime time #GOPDebate,  might have told Christie to say “Oops” in response to his utter lie.

Featured image via NJ Against Chris Christie

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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