Charlie Sheen Nonsensically Rants About Obama’s March Madness Picks

A popular right-wing meme is to complain about President Obama skipping soldiers’ funerals — one that seems to reference President Obama’s absenteeism at two-star General Harold Greene’s funeral.  Following this, the Right went ballistic, claiming the president had “bucked tradition” in failing to attend generals’ funerals like both Nixon and Bush had allegedly done.

Actor Charlie Sheen is, of course, complaining about the President “skipping” soldiers’ funerals, as well.

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The Washington Examiner debunked the myth of “tradition,” as well as any claims that Nixon and Bush had personally attended said funerals. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel was in attendance in Obama’s stead, despite claims to the contrary, and Snopes reminds us that the Washington Examiner utterly destroyed the myth of a presidential “tradition” to attend funerals for generals:

[Morris Davis, a retired Air Force colonel] stated definitively that Nixon had attended the Dillard funeral in 1970 and Bush had attended the Maude funeral in 2001, a ‘tradition’ of presidential attendance that Obama ‘bucked’ by ignoring the Greene funeral. As it turned out, none of that was true, and Davis, a retired U.S. Air Force colonel who played an important role in the War on Terror and who today teaches law at Howard University, knew it when he wrote it.

Curious about what Davis had said, I looked for any sign that Nixon had attended the Dillard funeral. I went to the Nixon Library website, which has posted the minute-by-minute White House logs of Nixon’s activities. They’re very detailed; if Nixon had gone to the general’s funeral, it would have been listed. I looked through the month after Dillard’s death and found no evidence Nixon had attended. Likewise, it turned out Bush did not attend the Maude funeral.

Sheen, however, tweeted a message to the President, whom he calls “Barry Saetera Kenya” — a throwback to birthers’ claims that President Barry Soetoro (Barack Obama’s “real name”) was born in Kenya and is not eligible to be President. Barack Obama, according to the delusional people,  is either a shapeshifting lizard secretly controlling humanity, or someone who was placed in power to something, something New World Order. He might be a CIA plant who did a lot of cocaine in college and married a transvestite to cover up his homosexuality in furtherance of a radical gay/socialist/Islamic agenda to destroy America, or even a houseplant. At this point, why not a houseplant?

Mr. “Winning” complained that the President occasionally takes time to have fun. While this was one of the rare occurrences in which golf is not mentioned, Sheen complained that Obama took time to fill out a March Madness bracket, but does not have the time to attend every single military funeral — ever.

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“Barry Satera Kenya u won’t attend a soldier’s funeral uhkros da street that u kild yet u hav time 4 brackets? s a d

Sheen’s tweet was helpfully translated from “idiot” to English by a true hero to humanity — Hunter Schwarz of the Washington Post:

For those who have trouble understanding what it is he actually said, here’s a translation:

Barry Satera Kenya → President Barack Obama
u won’t attend a → you won’t attend a
soldier’s funeral uhkros → soldier’s funeral across
da street that you kild → the street that you killed
yet u hav time → yet you have time
4 brackets? → for brackets?

“It has the cadence of a poem,” Schwartz writes. “A poem that uses an offensive joke about Obama’s name and shortens words to fit it in Twitter’s 140 character limits.”

Obama releases his March Madness picks yearly (as did Clinton and Bush), and why this is now an issue is absolutely baffling. This year, the President predicts that Kentucky will go undefeated — the first team to do so since Indiana in 1976.

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Sheen defended his “Kenyan” “joke” by reminding everyone that Obama lampooned birthers at the gridiron Club Dinner. “So is he bad to? [sic]” Sheen asked.

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The President did, indeed, do exactly that. “If I did not love America, I wouldn’t have moved here from Kenya,” Obama quipped at the dinner.

However, it is doubtful that Sheen was actually joking.

“It’s not cool. I don’t care about the picks. I care about wasting that kind of time when the world is in the state it’s in right now,” Sheen told TMZ . “We deserve better from our President. And I demand it.”

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