Boehner Upset That Obama Isn’t Waging Fruitless And Expensive Wars

No, we’re not The Onion–we’ve just reached such a point of depravity and insanity in government from which there’s no return.

John Boehner, who has the awkward role of having to calm down the mouth-foaming Teapublicans in the House while still remaining steadfastly Baracknaphobic, actually called President Obama an “anti-war” president.

 As if that were a bad thing. In fact, that’s like being upset at someone for being  anti-poverty or anti-AIDS. Oh wait, Republicans are in favor of both of those things. Never-mind. 

The world is starving for American leadership. But America has an anti-war president,” the Ohio Republican told reporters. “We have no strategy, overarching strategy, to deal with the growing terrorist threat. And it’s not just ISIS or Al-Qaeda or all of their affiliates. We’ve got a serious problem facing the world and America, by and large, is sitting on the sidelines. (TPM)

Actually, the only people starving are the working class and poor. Further, the people  who are literally starving on account of your sociopathic fellow Republicans, once again, trying to balance the budget on the backs of the poor by gutting food stamps.  Also, President Obama helped killed some insignificant guy named Bin Laden. You know, the guy  who was ACTUALLY responsible for the worst terror attack on America that President Bush ignored in countless memos. Also, Obama has overseen ongoing U.S. military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, even launching a sweeping drone war in Pakistan as well as military actions against Libya, Syria, Yemen and Somalia.

In short, what the leaky and perpetually drunk orange really means is that America’s neocons are starving for permawar to ensure their defense portfolios remain as fat as they were during the Bush years.

H/T: TalkingPointsMemo|Featured image by Michael Hayne of

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook



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