11 Things The GOP Taught Me To Be Grateful For This Thanksgiving

You gotta hand it to the GOP. There’s nothing like ’em for making a person grateful for what they’ve got. In the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday, here are the top 11 things the GOP has taught me gratitude for this year:

1. I’m not a born-again Christian. The GOP has made Evangelical Christians as scary as Ebola by agitating this most whacked-out, right-wing faction. The degree of control the two, together, want to have over everyone else and the degree of latitude they give their own leaders to misbehave is like a horror movie. They suck up money, spend on themselves extravagantly, flout the morality they preach, and sit in judgement of everyone else.

2. I don’t own a gun. Actually, it should be the GOP that’s grateful on this one. What I mean to say is, if I had a gun, I might have to Stand My Ground with Republicans, especially Tea Partiers. I could justifiably obliterate a whole generation of conservative old white men because they are an imminent threat to my life and to that of every other American woman. The self-preservation impulse is even stronger when I see the way conservatives justify snuffing out the lives of young, minority males with no accountability whatsoever.

3. I’m a woman. This does not contradict #2, believe it or not. Mainly, I’m thankful because the sight of a fully adult, empowered woman is like waving a red flag in front of a bull to the GOP. Nothing makes me happier than seeing them froth at the mouth. But I’m also grateful because most — not all, but most — of the greedy, old, controlling white members of the GOP are men, Sarah Palin notwithstanding.

Being a woman gives me some immunity from the GOP

Being a woman gives me some immunity from ever being a Republican. What sane woman would join forces with a party so evil that it denies wage parity, takes charge of a woman’s reproductive rights and health choices, idolizes hot women in revealing clothes (as long as they don’t have an idea in their pretty blonde heads, a.k.a., Fox News reporters) while demonizing more mature women, and denies assistance to low-wage women for child care, food, housing, etc. You see what I mean? GOP + women = insanity.

4. I won’t be having any more children. Being pregnant in GOP-controlled America means a woman soon may be charged with murder if she has a miscarriage, whether she knew she was pregnant or not — or that she must die if a pregnancy endangers her life because whether either she or the fetus lives is beside the point for the GOP. Their priority is that women be made to suffer for having sex — unless, of course, it’s sex with them. Which is punishment enough.

5. I already have a college education. I sure couldn’t afford one today — not now that the GOP has gutted funding for public education and especially institutions of higher learning. This follows their philosophy that a higher education is of no use, so why should anybody have one, much less have help paying for it?

6. I live in Arizona. Bet that one caught you by surprise. But I’m grateful because Arizona isn’t Texas. Yeah, Arizona has Jan Brewer. However, Jan Brewer will be gone in January. And she’s just mean — calculatedly mean, for sure — but not crazy. She’s fully aware of what she’s doing and once in a while comes down on the right side of things because the business community actually makes her — like not letting business owners refuse service to gays on religious grounds, because corporations will pull out of the state. But poor Texas has Ted Cruz and Rick Perry. They’re just frigging crazy and nobody deters them!

7. I don’t need a law passed. There might be laws I want passed, but not by this Congress! Of course, Congress simply couldn’t do it. Even if (fat chance) it was one they believed in. After all, passing a law might give President Obama an opportunity to wield his veto pen and get some media attention. And they’ll certainly try not to pass anything that Obama would actually sign. What if he got credit for it?

8. I’m good at spotting lies. That’s probably because the GOP has given me so much practice. Or maybe because they’re so bad at it. But when they tell me the Affordable Care Act is against my own interest, or that Medicare is broken, or that Social Security is about to run out of money, or that unemployment benefits create dependency, or that Obama is an African, I can just shrug and say, Meh! another Republican lie.

9. I won’t be drafted. Even if they do the fair thing and start drafting women as well as men, I’ve aged out. Resurrection of the draft is not an impossible concept. We’ve been at war non-stop for fourteen years now. We’re fighting on more fronts than ever.

Without Obama in the White House, the GOP would have us fighting even wider wars — boots on the ground in Syria, military intervention against Iran, continuing to pump up our effort in Afghanistan, and God-only-knows-what-else. Probably incursions into North African countries like Libya. Now there’s a country that just hasn’t gotten it together fast enough to embrace the GOP version of the American dream. All those damn factions must need America to add a little more chaos to the mix.

10. I’m registered to vote. All over the country, the GOP is trying to make it harder to register as well as to actually vote. They’ve managed to suppress minorities through voter ID laws (I have my ID) and by limiting early voting. (I always go to the polls. I’d crawl there if I had to.) I can only assume that they’re aiming to disenfranchise women next. The idea has been expressed.

11. I have integrity. I know what I believe and I’ll stand up for it. There doesn’t appear to be a politician left in the GOP who has a shred of their own. After all, if they had integrity, they’d leave the party. But no, they’ve shown how low a political party can go. There is no standing up for what is right anymore, only for what will control the populace so that their wealthy corporate masters can accumulate more wealth and more power.

Time to tip back to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, America.

When the tipping point comes, when Americans are too fed up to tolerate the GOP any longer, I’ll be ready to hit the streets — and already have — with others who have integrity and believe that the country was founded on some pretty solid principles. You know, like the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, plus freedom and justice for all.

The GOP, on the other hand, will be hard put to find a place to hide. People of integrity will expose cowards and liars and not offer them shelter from the oncoming storm.

Count your blessings. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.


Feature image, Thanksgiving postcard circa 1900, from wikipedia,org.

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