We Created ISIS And They Hate Us Because We’re There! So Let’s Get The F*ck Out (Op-Ed)

As I watched the gruesome carnage from last night’s brutal ISIS attack on Paris fill my screen (not a GOP debate for once), a slew of theories as to why this could happen ran though my brain.

Chief among those thoughts is the prima facie reason why radical Muslims and ISIS hate America so much: We’re in their holy lands.

The cause of 9/11 can be viewed through two separate lenses; one is Bin Laden’s anger over Saudi Arabia allowing American GIs to be stationed in the Muslim holy land of Mecca, and the other was his desire to bankrupt the West by dragging it into a seemingly never-ending battle with an invisible enemy. Both views seem accurate.

European countries, including France, have been bombing ISIS too, but there were more U.S.-coalition airstrikes in Syria and Iraq in the past year than during more than five years of the Afghanistan war. The fact remains that America is leading the effort in taking out ISIS.

We Created ISIS when we ousted Saddam

Anyone with more than two functioning brain cells (except for maybe Jeb Bush) now knows it was a colossal mistake to invade Iraq and remove Saddam, thus opening up a power vacuum for sectarian bickering. Vermont Senator and Democratic Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders brilliantly explained this a little back. Making a dumb mistake even dumber, Paul Bremer of the then CPA (Coalition Provisional Authority) engaged in De-baathification.  No, that isn’t the act of preventing people from taking a bath. Rather, the act of disarming Saddam’s loyalist generals in the then Baath Party. Prior to our monumentally stupid invasion, the Baath Party was the only representation of government (if you can even call it that).

We have a knack at pouring gasoline on a small fire and then just walking away. It’s truly what we do best. 

The law of unintended consequences was the only one the Bush regime followed to a T. Saddam Hussein may have been a brutal dictator, but he was a secular strongman who kept Muslim radicals in check. But Saddam tried to kill George Bush’s daddy and he f*cked with our oil interests too much, so we abandoned the just fight in Afghanistan in order to pursue a petty vendetta and commerce war in Iraq. The blind invasion and eventual occupation of Iraq, of course, brought Al-Qaeda into Iraq.  Worse yet, it eventually created the demo spawn known as ISIS, which makes Al-Qaeda look like the pee-wee football of  terrorism.

But what about all the other Muslim nations and their vast armies?

Okay, this is where a convoluted situation becomes something that not even Stephen Hawking could understand. Why are other Muslim countries so useless at taking on ISIS when you consider their collective numbers far outpace ISIS’ numbers.


In sum, maybe some of these Muslim countries shouldn’t send empty condemnations of attacks, but rather mobilize their vast armies to take care of their own sh*t. Further, stop relying on the US’s money and troops to bail out the drug addict kid that is the Middle East. Maybe then, their “condemning” might mean a little bit more.

Featured image via Twitter

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on TwitterFacebook,   and ImpressionsGuy.com

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