Chris Christie Is Toast in 2016 After Judge Says He Broke Law With Pension System

Chris Christie, although he hasn’t officially announced his 2016 intentions, has been lusting for the presidency ever since he donned that hideous super-fleece during Superstorm Sandy and performed like Mayor Giuliani in the wake of 9/11. In fact, one might say that Christie is Giuliani in a fat suit; that is, a blustery regional powerhouse who won’t be able to appeal to the rest of America come primary season. But once the storm lifted and his reelection was a sure thing, it was off to Iowa and New Hampshire to glad-hand with Iowa’s big agribusiness. After all, it’s not high rates of poverty, soaring property taxes, and the worst environment for business; it’s backroom deals for Iowa pig farms that New Jersey voters are screaming about. 

But the Tony Soprano-like governor might start yearning for the days of bridge scandals  after a state judge just ruled that Christie broke a law when he signed by cutting $1.57 billion from a promised payment from the pension system for public employees this year. Consequently, putting an even bigger dent in his 2016 clown car.

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The decision could send the state budget into a tailspin, forcing Christie to actually do something other than fly on Sheldon Adelson’s private plan in order to come up with the necessary funds by June 30th, the end of the fiscal year.  Alas, Christie will probably once again seek to fix the hole and balance the budget on the backs of the working poor. In fact, State Assembly Majority Leader Lou Greenwald said he doesn’t know where they would find they money in this year’s $32.5 billion budget and also feared it would take“draconian” cuts to accomplish.

“The impact on programs at the end of the year would be devastating,” Greenwald (D-Camden) said. (

Just to give you a better idea, New Jersey’s pension system faces a whopping $83 billion in unfunded liabilities — one of the highest in the nation. Moreover,  it’s estimated that Christie’s two-year, $2.4 billion cut would wind up costing the state nearly twice as much over the next five years.

Maybe if Christie actually spent more time in New Jersey than Hurricane Sandy itself, instead of focusing on doing anything and everything to appease the Republican puppet masters for 2016, then perhaps these budget issues wouldn’t keep happening.


unnamed Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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