Grab Your Smores: Right-Wing Preacher Promised To ‘Light Self On Fire’ If Gay Marriage Was Upheld (AUDIO)

Today marked a historic day for gay rights, as the Supreme Court did what most analysts thought they would do and ruled that the Constitution guarantees the right to gay marriage. Grab yourself a Special Edition of the Wizard of Oz and start humming Madonna; gay couples now have every right to have as sexless a life as straight married couples.

But while the majority of the country was ecstatic that 5 out of 4 Supreme Court justices chose reason and compassion over fear and hate (the GOP’s bread & butter), many right-wingers were doing what they do best by making stupid threats about moving to Canada. Further, these miserably uninformed dolts must have never got the memo that Canada legalized gay marriage in freaking 2005. That’s a special kind of stupid.

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But taking the bakery in the department of insane and uninformed is Rick Scarborough, a right-wing fundamentalist and former Southern Baptist pastor. Now, what makes this pant-load particularly interesting is the threat he made in the event that the Supreme Court ruled in favor of gay marriage. Indeed, while your average right-wing loon was whining about moving to Canada (gay marriage and universal healthcare, btw), this oppressive scold was bringing out the big guns.

In a “National Emergency Coalition” conference call between two Christian fundamentalist preachers, Scarborough told former Virginia GOP politician E.W. Jackson that he would rather burn than “sanction” a same-sex marriage.

“We are not going to bow. We are not going to bend, and if necessary we will burn,” said Scarborough. (NewCivilRightsMovement)

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Well kiddies–grab yourself some marshmallows and enjoy the show. Of course nobody expects Scarborough to follow through with his promise of self-immolation. No conviction with these right-wingers these days. If there’s anything worse than a hateful, sanctimonious scold, it’s one who can’t keep his promises.

Featured image via InstinctMagazine

michael hayne headshotedited111 Michael is a comedian/VO artist/Columnist extraordinaire. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook

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