WATCH: Hilariously Awkward News Anchors Discuss ‘Intimacy’ With Absurdly Silly ‘Allegory’ (VIDEO)

It must be tough to discuss sensitive issues live on air while children are eating their Fruit Loops next to the same television set mom and dad (or dad and dad or mom and mom or just mom or just dad…or some other type of related or unrelated caretaker…phew, it’s hard to be thoroughly PC these days!) are also watching to get their morning news fix.

As one of the oh-so astute news anchors in this segment points out:

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You gotta be careful when we talk about intimacy here. The kids are watching.

Yes, yes you do.

One solution to this seemingly insurmountable problem might be to just not talk about such issues on AM news programs.  However, why take the Occam’s razor approach when you can simply make your news anchors use preposterous allegories to discuss grown-up topics, like sex?

It’s really difficult, if not impossible, to believe that the producers of Global News in Saskatoon were serious when they chose this specific metaphor to protect the innocent kids from hearing “naughty” words — but a lot of people must have been laughing their rear-ends (keeping it PG here too, folks) off watching it unfold live on air.

Someone, with either the best or worst sense of humor on the planet, chose to refer to sex as “potash mining” throughout the entire segment on an intimacy survey the station was covering. Yes, “potash mining.” Of course, hilarity of the highest magnitude ensued.

Here’s one example of the brilliant allegory in action:

Male anchor:  A significant portion of males, we’re talking 58 percent, they’d like to go potash mining more often.

Female anchor: They want more potash.

Male anchor: They would really…they need more potash…yeah.

After that, the two anchors actually start discussing the “mining equipment” Saskatoon men will need in order to get the potash they so desperately desire; flowers, jewelry et al, because the price of potash has apparently gone up.


Granted, they are Canadian and Canadians are known for their super politeness, so I should probably give them a break…eh?

Happy potash mining, everyone!

See the whole hilarious news segment for yourself in the video below.

H/T: | Image via screen capture from Global News Saskatoon newscast
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