Michele Bachmann Insists Obama And Gay Marriage Will Bring The Rapture (AUDIO/VIDEO)

Just when you think Michele Bachmann couldn’t get any nuttier, there she goes again. The former Minnesota representative went on “End Times” radio with evangelical host Jan Markell to, of course, talk about how we must be living in the “end times.”

Michele cites as her main evidence Barack Obama (of course) and gay marriage (what else?). She also claims that the “Rapture” will be coming along basically any day now and it’s all his fault. But we should rejoice … which would make it to his credit, right Michele? I’m not sure and I don’t think she is either, but you can hear her preach on the subject below.

Check it out HERE:

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/201712927″]

Yes, out of over 13 billion years of our universe existing, Michele is convinced that this year is pretty much all she wrote as far as an earth without Jesus walking around it.

For those not familiar with the Biblical story of the Rapture, it is the 1st part of the multi part saga that is their fantasy for the end of the world. There are various interpretations of the events within it but basically it comes down to Jesus returning and smiting his (or Michele’s) enemies. In short, it’s the Biblical version of “my dad can beat up your dad.”

And actually it’s not a story, per se. It’s more of an interpretation of verses from at least 4 different books of the Bible. Carefully lifted to create this narrative of Jesus’s return. Some people think that Jesus will be teleporting all the “good American Christians” while others contend Jesus will be walking around vaporizing all that doubted leaving a utopia of homogeneous perfect “Christians”  to play with Jesus forever and ever.

Interesting sidenote: This is one area where the evangelicals don’t mention the Jewish people, whom they normally look out for like an over protective older brother would his little sister. But it’s not because all the radical right wing “Christians” think the Jews will be killed in the Rapture.

Actually some do think that, but others think that is the Jews “2nd chance at salvation.” They won’t being that up though, as that is essentially saying, “we’re just putting up with you until Jesus comes back, then you have to admit you are wrong or face the wrath.” The current ,”even though you don’t believe in Christ’s divinity we’re still on the same side” mantra works better for them now.

But back to Michele and her conviction that we are indeed at the end of the road.

She cites another piece of evidence to back up her claim. She says that this is just like being pregnant, and the contractions are getting closer and closer. And as she puts it “a mother knows.”

Some might think that this is also just a bunch of Palinesque nonsense spouted by a barely literate lunatic. And I will agree that Michele does come off as somewhat loony, but her message here isn’t just some random off the wall ramblings. Believe it or not, what Michele is doing and saying here is pretty calculated, and is pretty standard fare in the ways conservative evangelicals and some conservative Catholics even preach their message. But to understand that , one must understand the evangelical mind, methods of indoctrination and keeping the flock in line.

The “end days are here” message is an old one. In fact it’s been predicted hundreds of times that are well documented, and surely many more that weren’t.  It keeps the flock in line. It says to them “your work is almost done, soon you will get your revenge.” It also is a pretty good recruiter, especially used on people who are easily influenced or are bandwagon jumpers for obvious reasons. When preachers wanna stir up the crowd and get some new converts, expect the imminent “end times” and things like The Rapture to be center stage in the sermon.

Of course using right wing hot buttons like Obama and gays are calculated “fear” tactics. To most people who aren’t cringing in fear, this is usually pretty obvious. But to the flock, just saying Obama and gays is like saying saying Satan and the other Satans.

The pregnancy line is a clever one. That serves to appeal to both women, especially evangelical mothers who are comforted by the fact that this works just like something that they know exclusively about, namely being pregnant. It plays to their belief that women have a special intuition as well. Combine that with the unique experience of pregnancy, and you have all the flock’s women convinced you must be on to something.

But to men it means something, too, if you go below the surface. Men, especially conservative men, don’t want to get their Biblical advice – the serious stuff – from anyone but a good man. But the pregnancy line lets Michele provide the guys a reason to listen. Guys can get away from their usual misogyny by accepting Michele’s analogy as fact, and conservative men never have follow-up questions when it comes to any discussion about those “lady parts.” It works on them on so many levels. Sinister, but very clever.

And of course, this theme of the end being near will be surely repeated by his favorite man preacher next time he is soaking up a sermon. So everything she says will jive. All is well.

Another side note: It always struck me as funny the way the fundamentalist “Christians” have this incredible and hypocritical arrogance about the end of the world. On one hand they believe in an all powerful omnipotent God. On the other hand they believe that they can control the game from down here. That in itself is pretty arrogant and just downright pompous. It’s kind of like God works for them, really. But then the whole out of 13 billion years this is the time might be more arrogant. I’m not sure. But let’s get back to Michele …

Bachmann uses the old “more wars, more strife” talking point to back up her assertions that the time is near. This technique has always been effective. Think about it – as time moves forward, communication methods have gotten better and faster. So in the future, you always hear about more things from further away. Michele forgets that as long as civilizations have been introduced to each other, there have been wars. And there will always be wars. And there will always be bad news. And again, as time goes on you will hear about more, faster and from further away. That’s how progress works.

Then there’s the “my dad can beat up your dad” attitude that sits in the background of it all. And as goofy as it sounds to a lot of people, that’s what a lot of these fundamentalists think in a very literal sense. They think Jesus is gonna come down and they can walk Jesus around and point out all the bad people so he can execute him while they laugh. Like the all powerful being of the universe needs to be shown around by you. But if you believe that, it will keep you obedient and patient just like the church leaders want you to be. As someone once said, “spiritualism is a personal relationship – religion is crowd control.”

I always thought a real christian would accept whatever the world dealt and lived their life according to their beliefs and not worry about the end of the world. To just accept God for what they claim he is, an omnipotent all powerful being to me means you have to take off the “pride hat” and not think that you are gonna control things from down here. And if God does exist and have a plan, surely it’s gonna happen with or without your actions. So why fight against it or for it?

But Michele reminds her followers that this is not a time for despair but to rejoice. Because that’s the fundamentalist way. Always look on the bright side. It’s the same with prayer. If your prayer wasn’t “answered,” that’s just God using his better wisdom … accept it and be happy.” And when the Rapture doesn’t come down the pike as Michele predicted, it will probably be credited to them (the fundies) thwarting the devil with goodness and prayer. And electing Republicans.

Oh, and if you don’t think the fundies are buying this message, it is being taken serious enough to be picked up by the Jerusalem Post and here’s another fundamentalist beginning to spread Michele’s word:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HQbMR0GMNE]

Featured Image via Forbes.com 

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