Here’s What Happened When Joel Osteen’s Facebook Page Was Infiltrated By ‘Joel Oldsteen’

One of the things that can happen when one sets up an open Facebook page is that it can draw trolls. This is especially true if the page belongs to a celebrity. Famous people often have social media teams to handle this inevitability. The troll is shut down fairly quickly if that team is on the ball. But, in the world of screen capture, the trolling never dies.

Recently, a troll calling himself “Joel Oldsteen” spent some time trolling the Facebook page of Pastor Joel Osteen. “Oldsteen” is, in reality, comedian Ben Palmer. Joel Osteen is pastor of a megachurch, author and outspoken proponent of the “prosperity gospel.”

It’s a grift, a scam, theft and should be illegal. So it is with great delight that I present to you — via Somecards and the Independent Journal— some of the best replies by “Joel Oldsteen” on Joel Osteen’s Facebook page:


I'm guessing that Osteen's prayer hotline has the fastest transmission speed because they don't use ComCast?

I’m guessing that Osteen’s prayer hotline has the fastest transmission speed because they don’t use Comcast?




Weekly Special: Two Super-Prayers for $500




That’s okay, a lot of the Bible was made up.



Is that a bankroll in your pants or are you just happy to see me? — God



And, remember, if they’re on your property you can legally shoot them.



If God needed money, He’d print it Himself.



Easy for you to say. You weren’t on the Titanic.



Positive thinking can’t help you if you’re drowning in debt. Neither can sending your money to a grifter like Osteen.



I tried that. The eagle scratched my face and bit off a finger.

One of Osteen’s flock took it upon himself to curse “Oldsteen” with a weird fate:


A hippo? Um. Okay. As invective goes, that certainly is one of the strangest. “Oldsteen’s” reply is golden. I wonder if Osteen really does have a backyard zoo?

Social satire is one of our best weapons. When the power-hungry, the rich, the abusive and those who take advantage of the suffering of others have their actions and words brought to public ridicule, we can overcome their control more easily. Thank you, Ben Palmer. I look forward to your next epic trolling.

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