Is Nickelback Deadlier Than Ebola?

Since the mid 1990’s, Nickelback has stormed the radio waves with 7 albums of somewhat-catchy tunes that all sound alike using 4 chords they stole from Poison.  Lead man Chad Kroeger abhors music critics that see through the commercialized no-talent droning of his band, admitting that without them keeping Nickelback in the headlines his musical aspirations quest for cash-for-crap would have died out years ago.

Their latest album, due out who cares when, has been preempted by the release of the lead single “Edge of a Revolution.”  Officially moving into the realm of political activism, Kroeger and his merry band use such compelling lyrics as “Hey hey just obey, your secret’s safe with the NSA,” and “In God we trust or the CIA, standing on the edge of a revolution.”

To be fair, the lyrics do mention Wall Street and thieves.  I guess nobody told Kroeger that if you’re going to appeal to the people calling for the next American revolution that Wall Street is off-limits.  They’re job creators, dontcha know.

The rest of the song is filled with repetitive choruses of “We won’t give up, we won’t go away, standing on the edge of a revolution,” and “What do we want, we want change! How we gonna get there? REVOLUTION!”

It’s all very compelling, and sure to be a big hit at the militia sponsored keg parties outside of canned-goods-filled survival bunkers , as well as at political rallies for radical Teahadists who think taking up arms against your country is somehow patriotic.

Kroeger and his band are so horrible it’s been reported that ISIS has threatened to use their material as “acoustic warfare.”

Voicing political dissent is protected under the 1st amendment, so of course Kroeger has the right to do so.  Calling for an American revolution must be something near and dear to his Canadian heart, and while neither he nor any of the band hold US citizenship, we appreciate his concern for our state of affairs and his overwhelming support for the III%ers and Oathkeepers.

I have to wonder if Chad will be trading in his microphone for an assault rifle and leading the charge against tyranny or if he’ll simply sit back and watch from Vancouver as tens of idiots are arrested for stupidity while iTunes transfers royalties to his bank account.

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