5 Things That Can Kill You Before Ebola


Ever since the deadly Ebola Virus that has ravaged West Africa reached America, our entire news media  has turned into a crappy ABC disaster movie-of-the-week. Ebola might as well as be Ebolaghazi, as the faux news network has deliberately exaggerated the insidious virus in order to throw its already miserably uninformed viewers into an even greater delirium of Baracknophobia. After all, Ebola has the letters ‘B’ and ‘O’ in it, and those are Barack Obama’s initials so….

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Obviously Ebola is a horrible disease and it’s crucial that our health agencies make as many efforts as possible to prevent a contagion, as well as limit some of the idiotic incidents that have already occurred. But let’s not completely freak out and start trampling over each other at Wal-Mart over the disease that has now infected fully .0000006 percent of the American population.  Hey, it’s not like it’s Swine Flu or anything.




But just in case you’re wholly convinced that those seasonal allergies are in fact a deadly case of Ebola, here are 5 things that have a greater chance of killing you.

Heart Disease

According to the CDC, roughly 600,000 Americans die every year as a result of heart disease. Eating bread made out of fried chicken might still be the most patriotic thing you can do next to accidentally shooting yourself, but it’s way more likely to kill you.


In 2014, the American Cancer Society estimates there will 1,665,540 new cancer cases diagnosed and 585,720 cancer deaths in the US.

Lower Respiratory Disease

Data released by the CDC indicates that deaths from Chronic Lower Respiratory Disease (CLRD) are on the rise. In fact, it has surpassed stroke as the third leading cause of the death in the United States.


Okay-so maybe next to fireworks or hunting accident, there’s nothing more positively American than diabetes. According to Diabetes.org, the disease stands as the 7th leading cause of death in the United States, with roughly 69,071 death certificates listing it as the underlying cause of death in 2010. It also really angers Wilford Brimley and makes him yell at inanimate objects.

Alzheimer’s Disease

We all know somebody with Alzheimer’s disease and it is certainly no picnic. And while there are many therapies to treat Alzheimer’s, there’s sadly no definitive cure yet. According to Alzheimer’s Association, the deadly brain disease is the 6th leading cause of death in the United States and claims 500,000 lives every year.

In short, it’s clear that Ebola could potentially kill thousands of Americans and we shouldn’t be complacent about it. But chances of that happen remain ridiculously low and you’re more likely to get killed by an angry horse or a suicidal bee.

(Image courtesy of KeepCalmOmatic)

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