10 Gifts That Will Make Right-Wingers Squeal In Delight. . . Or Not

Are you having a difficult time finding just the perfect something for that pesky conservative family member or friend? Perhaps these items will help inspire some creativity for those last-minute purchases.

Patriot Sound Wallet

The Patriot Sound Wallet is perfect for your right-wing uncle Henry. He will feel great pride pulling this baby from his trousers, which incidentally is “sized perfectly for U.S. currency” – no food stamps here! And, so everyone around him takes notice of those green, crisp “In God We Trust” dollar bills pulled from this beauty, it will boldly play the tunes “Stars and Stripes Forever” and “The Star Spangled Banner” when opened.

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Price: $17.95 via stupid.com


Waving Flag Hat

The Waving Flag Hat is actually a gift of practicality. With one hand on your beer and the other on your gun, waving your American flag can be quite the challenge. Be challenged no more, the waving flag hat is here! Cousin Bubba will talk about this gift for many years to come.

Price: $6.95 via stupid.com


Scrooge Was A Conservative Christmas Ornament

Have a grumpy conservative grandpa who needs some solace in all of that Christmas cheer? Then the “Scrooge Was A Conservative” Christmas Ornament is guaranteed to turn that smile upside down. While he likely doesn’t have a Christmas tree, if he did, this would be THE ornament he would hang.

Price: $14.50 via zazzle.com


Ronald Reagan Flipping The Bird Mug

Every year you struggle. Uncle Stan – the man with his popped collar pink polo shirt and wispy comb over that blows in the wind of his 1985 convertible corvette – he is simply impossible to buy for. Well, this year, you’ve got your mullet loving uncle covered. Presenting the Ronald Reagan Flipping the Bird Mug. He can re-live his trickle down economics glory days each and every morning as he longs for the taste of Taster’s Choice coffee.

Price: $19.85 via zazzle.com


Ronald Reagan Flipping The Bird Flask

“The Right To Party” Flask is for your Uncle Stan if Taster’s Choice just wasn’t his thing.

Price: $27.60 via zazzle.com



Fox News Red Blanket

Then there is Aunt Edna who is sure ISIS is messing with the thermostat in her house. It’s all a big conspiracy to “chill out” the Fox News loving Americans. Aunt Edna can stay hot under the collar throughout the year with this Fox News Red Blanket.

Price: $29.00 via shop.foxnews.com


Hobby Lobby Gift Card

What do you get the woman who loves yarn, cats and Jesus? A Hobby Lobby Gift Card, of course! Added bonus, all the wonderful spite dished out to those sexually active sinful women who happen to work at Hobby Lobby. No birth control for them!

Price: $10 to $200 via hobbylobby.com


Boudreaux’s Butt Paste

Do you have a crazy neighbor that is absolutely sure Donald Trump is going to be elected president? Perhaps it’s time to buy him some Boudreaux’s Butt Paste for when the Democratic Party takes the White House, yet again, next year. He can never be too prepared when it comes to butt-hurt treatments.

Price: $8.19 via target.com


Donald Trump Bobblehead

Ok, I’ll be perfectly honest here. I have absolutely no clue who would want this. But, I’m sure there is someone who has some relative, somewhere that would appreciate the hell out of a Donald Trump Bobblehead. So, here it is.

Price: $28.36 via amazon.com


Hillary Clinton Nutcracker

Ok ladies, have a creepy conservative admirer? Need to send him a message? Hillary has your back and can take on his nuts. The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker will kill two stones with one bird.

Price: $30.00 via amazon.com


And, there you have it!

Happy Holidays!

Featured image via product pages

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