A question posted on the question social network Quora asks if feminism is what killed off “nice guys.” The poster, who chose to remain anonymous, said that the details of his original post were removed per Quora’s policies; however, his question remains. He uses some of the answers as proof that he’s right about feminism killing off the nice guys. Here’s his post:
However, his original post, which is not seen above, shrieks “pick-up artist” everywhere, as he says he agrees with the following quote:
It’s a sad fact that the modern feminist withholds sex from the nice guy, disgusted with his subservience, while servicing the sexist alpha man, increasing his power and rewarding him with more sexual delights than he could have experienced since the days of Itzcoatl. The nice guy is weak and starved, left sexless and alone, a pathetic specimen resigned to the brunt of jokes in beer commercials and crappy sitcoms. If he wants to be procreate, he has no choice but to rise from the ashes a sexist. The more of those beliefs he accepts, the more he’ll get what he wants in the fucked-up world we currently live in.
He also agrees with this one:
An emotionally wounded or distressed women gets rescued. An emotionally wounded or distressed man gets torn to pieces, by men and women alike. Women do it because they despise men who appear weak, and men do it because they’re trying to eliminate their romantic competition. Yes, that’s right. The whole “Creepy Nice Guy” thing is just women (and many men) rationalizing their brutal, animal nature. They want lonely nice guys to wither away and die quietly. Come out into the open and you get ripped to shreds. In the old days they just shot you or beat you with sticks. Nowadays in the era of law and order, they kill you with words and use stereotypes and scaremongering to justify it.
Both of those come from rooshv.com, run by Roosh V., a notorious pick-up artist and misogynist. His entire website is filled with hatred for women who don’t put out when men want them to, and, of course, for feminism. These guys (both Roosh and the OP on Quora) have no clue what it means to be a nice guy.
Luckily, there are lots of answers to this man’s complaint that explain why the “nice guy” doesn’t get what he wants from women, and how it has nothing to do with feminism. Many of those answers even come from men. One man, Chris Griswold, said:
I’d rather be a good man than a nice guy.
Nice guys expect things from women.
Good men expect things from themselves.
Another man, Adam Mordecai, started his educational answer with this wonderful paragraph:
The fevered cartoon satan (sic) dream feminist that lives within the imagination of every guy who says ‘but I’m a nice guy’ is a tragic lie. The implication that somehow feminists withhold sex implies that sex is somehow owed for being ‘nice’ when the reality is that sex is something that two people who are into each other do because they are into each other. Being nice doesn’t merit you getting sex. It merits a thanks and a high five.
He went on to explain rather eloquently that women do not owe a nice guy anything for treating them nicely, and that the attraction that can eventually lead to sex has to be mutual and clear.
He also told a wonderful anecdote about how he was nerdy, awkward and desperate in college, and what happened when he stopped interpreting every hug and brush of the hand as a signal that the girl in question needed him. In short, he says that when he learned to be a human, and treat women like humans, things got a lot better for him.
Others tell this so-called “nice guy” just how to be a good man instead of considering himself a “nice guy” who thinks women owe him for being such a “nice guy.” At least, when the OP edited his post to the final version above, he admitted he’s not a nice guy. This guy, Joe McMahon, said:
‘Nice guy’ is shorthand for ‘a dude who does things for or with someone and has a payout list in his head for each thing he does.’ Assuming someone else should meet a one-sided checklist of desires is not nice. It’s nasty.
In other words, the answers are full of people who actually understand the difference between a good man and a “nice guy.” Or a “nice guy” and a truly nice guy. It’s this idea that women owe men sex that contributed to Elliot Rodger opening fire on students at UC-Santa Barbara last year. It’s also part of why we can’t get misogyny out of our culture. Thankfully, there are actual men out there who get it, and don’t (appear to, anyway) believe that women owe them sex for anything.